2 Religions? Divided heart?

January 6, 2006

Note:This is a “draft” I had never posted. It’s been saved in my blog for a while. I’ll never finish the article. But at least you’ll know what was on my mind like a month and a half ago. It’s still relevant.

Since you guys are my friends, I’ll try and expose some of what I am and how I live. (Simply because it’s cool to let people know the truth).

The way I see things is like this: it’s like I’ve got 2 belief systems. Let me see if I can explain myself.

One system is the “Christian” system. It’s based on the “right/wrong” that I can see in the Bible. And thank God for this. He is my saviour, and don’t get me wrong, I am nothing without Jesus and his mercy.

But here’s the other system, it’s the “Personal” system. It’s besed on what I believe in my heart and percieve that is true and “ok” in life. So many things that are “wrong” in the Christian belief system are “right” in my personal beliefs. Maybe “so many” is an exaggeration, but there are some things though.

Like when I asked about astrology and why it was considered wrong (Asked in theOoze). I got so many answers and still most of them don’t sound as logical or true to me. It’s like I don’t care. I see no sense in the answers. So what do I do? I keep my personal view.

Other religions? Well I’d rather you practice any other religion than none at all. I believe they are all true in many ways. They are humanity’s approach to God originating in many different parts of this world and in many different times.

(They are different because we all are different. From Costa Rica to USA you have no idea the amount of differences we have. And we’re in the same continent! Imagine from being born here and being born in the Congo.)

Are they the same as christianity. No they’re not. I believe Jesus is God. I believe he is different from anyone else. But I believe that All religions reach out to him. I’m not even sure I should interfere with someone’s religious life.

I mean there’s so much beauty in all of them.

Also, I believe that Judaism/Christianity inherited so many things from other religions (Egyptian and Mesopotamian) that it seems a little “naive” to now claim that “all other religions are wrong.” Chritianity owes in part to “other” religions.

So why am I like this? How can these maybe “contradicting” views live inside myself? Sometimes I fear that I’m not even Christian. But that’s the Christian in me talking to me. (Do you see the crazyness of this?)

Anyways. Seraphim what do you think? David? Darla? Anne?

Is this really wrong as in the sense that “I can’t see it’s wrong?”

BTW, I am posting this because I’m trying to be ONE. No more being two. I’ll try and be the one I am. Like I said to a girl in the Ooze “Genuine always beats the shit out of manufactured in my book.”


10 Responses to “2 Religions? Divided heart?”

  1. kingsjoy Says:


    I think everyone who is honest with himself finds this is true–we have a second, personal system. This would explain in part so many differences among Christian sects (and other religions as well).

    You gave the example of astrology. As you know, this is considered extremely taboo among many evangelical Christians. However, extreme materialism, which Jesus repeatedly warned against, seems to be happily accepted among many American Christians.

    I’ve recently determined that our answers must come directly from Him. All the people, the traditions, the doctrines–these should serve as an arrow pointing us to Him. But they are not necessarily the Answer.

    This “narrow path” we’ve chosen seems to require a delicate balance in our footsteps. This choreography only succeeds when we become intimate with Him and His purposes.

    And I’m becoming convinced that He is up to the task–I’ve just got to trust Him.

    Thanks for being so open in this post. I’ve been prompted to open up a little more on my blog, but haven’t done so yet (it takes more time to spill your guts!)


  2. dionpugil Says:

    David thanks for your message.

    I think you’re on the right track. Jesus is THE only answer. We usually seek it in church, books, theology, sermons or whatever.

    I guess I have to learn to care only what God wants. What God teaches. What God says.

    Thanks bro.

    Oh. and BTW, astrology is just an example. The interesting thing, now that I think about it, is that I really don’t care about it that much. But anyways, it illustrates what I meant.

  3. karen Says:

    Thanks for posting this. My journey over the last year has taken me to some of the same places. And it is a painful thing trying to take the two belief systems and make them become one. Lots of work, lots of faith, lots of truly seeking God. And, indeed, lots of pain. And I wonder, when I am done, how will I be accepted by my current friends…..
    Pressing onward,

  4. darla Says:

    i’m trying to find something really spiritual and enlightening to say, since you mentioned my name in the post… ha ha… and i’ve read your post over and over, and the best i can come up with is i think you are the real deal, gaston… you are genuine, and that’s why i like you. anything you’ve ever said has not been manufactured…. matter of fact, the times i like you best is when i’ve seen you post, “i don’t know” on the ooze to someone’s, “please tell me the answer” post. you don’t try to make things up. i don’t think having contradictory views on things is bad or wrong… i think it makes us search even more for the truth in things wherever we can find it. i’m glad i’m on this journey with you all! david and i just talked about how we wished you could get your stinkin’ visa so we could meet you in person!! maybe that will happen one day.

  5. dionpugil Says:

    lol. darla you made me laugh. funny how we want to find “spiritual things to say” all the time. and then just come up with stuff like “yeah, I know what you mean.” lol I think life’s probably just like that.

    Anyways. Yeah… one of these days I’ll swallow my pride, take a $100 bill, and go ask for my VISA again. That’s what they charge to try and get the VISA. But yeah, one of these days.

    Thanks for chatting all the time and writing and praying. Yeri’s still thankful for your prayers.


  6. Anne Says:

    Gaston, I just love how you write straight from your heart. Or from your gut. Or from both. Your openness reminds me of a little kid pointing and saying, “Hey, that lady’s FAT!” in the grocery store. So often you’re the one who acknowledges the elephant in the room that everyone pretends isn’t there. So often with the confusion of opinions within Christianity I have to go back to Jesus command to love one another. “This is what I command you” from Christ should carry enormous weight, don’t you think? How interesting that he didn’t qualify that by telling us if someone is Buddhist we don’t have to love them quite as wholeheartedly, or if they’re gay we should love them cautiously at arm’s length and make sure we tell them what the Bible says about sin. What a radical guy, our Savior. “I COMMAND you to love each other” – what kind of leader would send his people out with that and not include a bulleted list of exceptions??

  7. dionpugil Says:

    You know Anne, I hadn’t seen those words in that light “I COMMAND you to love.”

    “what kind of leader would send his people out with that and not include a bulleted list of exceptions??”

    A strange kind of leader. 🙂

    The elephant in the room seems to me that God is totally with us, and we’re all finding ways to avoid him. Sin, our culture, our thoughts. Even our prayers seem sometimes ways in which we avoid being with God. I have to get cured from this disease.

    🙂 Thanks anne.

  8. GoteeMan Says:

    Gaston –

    It’s always amazing to me how you can cut right through the shit and get to the point. Thanks for being one who observes closely, considers deeply, and responds openly. Funny how that can provoke interesting responses from others… kinda like one cat shitting in the litter box – some of the other cats just go “hmm, that was interesting”, some get down and smell it, and others try to cover it up..

    I believe, my friend, that your approach is a big part, if not all of the cure you are looking for… Keep on keeping on.

    Love you, dude.
    GoteeMan (Jeff)

  9. dionpugil Says:

    Jeff thanks for your words.

    You know maybe it’s just that since I was such a “nice guy” for so many years of my youth, I just sorta “unconsciously” developed a sense that the bullshit won’t help me get anywhere exept far away from God.

    Not that not being full of shit can be translated into being close to God. But at least, if eventually I’m away from God, well, at least I’m not pretending to be the “good chrisitian.”

  10. GoteeMan Says:

    Gaston –

    Again, you said something amazing – most people’s definition of the “good christian” is exactly what you said – pretending. Kinda like those who waved at a movie star or rock star, and then claim to have met the person, or somehow to know them.

    I don’t have time to pretend anymore, either. I am who I am, and it isn’t a result of what I do. What I do is, of course, affected by who I am. I just decided that like THE “I AM”, I AM… Like Father, like son… and the true identity comes from Him, and not from my activities.

    And one more thing – He LIKES me!

    and guess what?


    Keep on!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: