They die when you die

December 29, 2005

Talking about churches with a good friend, he was saying how bad he thinks going to church is.

His parents always made him go to church whether he wanted or not. He feels that his parents thought it was “decent” to go to church. He didn’t want to go. But they made him go. He feels it’s all a social thing.

Anyways, I told him that even though that was his experience, mine was different. I never had to go to church if I didn’t want to. Ever. You could do whatever you wanted if you lived in my mom’s house. Turns out, thank God, I don’t hate going to church. (At least not all the time).

At the end of our talk, he gave to me the best description I’ve heard of the difference between having an “active-God-life” and just merely “social-decent-church-life.” He said -“all those things are just social. They die when you die.”

So I guess it all comes down to that huh? What’s gonna die when I die? What’s gonna live when I die? The things that are going to live when we die are the true-God-things.

I hope we all fill ourselves with more truth and true-living.  I hope most of our lives won’t die when we die.

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4 Responses to “They die when you die”

  1. darla Says:

    dang… this is a strong post! i keep coming back day after day, waiting for you to post, and when you do, man…. it is awesome. i couldn’t agree more with everything you said here, and matter of fact, it is crazy.. i was just talking about this with michael last night before going to bed… i am reading anne lamott’s book, plan b: further thoughts on faith. in it she talks about making her son go to church with her. he DOES NOT want to go, but she makes him. it strikes me as funny, because she is SO liberal… kind of free-flowing, hippie type. seems like she would be more, whatever floats your boat kind of thing. but she is not. she’s very adamant that since he lives in her house, that he will do what she wants him to do, which is go to church.

    so after reading this, i turned to michael and said, “do you think we’re harming our children by not going to church?” he asked where i got that idea, and i told him what i read. he said he didn’t know.

    all i can tell you is that i am so much happier right now in my life, things seem more balanced… not as hectic. i don’t know if it was just because we were “in ministry,” i.e. youth pastors, or what… but i can remember being on such an emotional roller coaster while we attended church… i don’t know if it was just the particular one we were at before we left or what… but i know what we are doing now seem to be benefitting our children more than anything we’ve done churchwise.

    so, i’m with you…. what’s going to live when i die? i hope the legacy of my children loving and serving God by reaching out to the unlovable people… the people who are on the street, the people in our community that have been “forgotten,” being generous with their stuff… these are all things we’ve been practicing with our children. i don’t want them cooped up in some building, trying to “find” God… i want them out with people, living and breathing God in their every day life.

    sorry to ramble on… it’s just SO coincidental that i was just thinking most of these thoughts last night…. i am so glad to hear you say these things…. it makes me think i am NOT going crazy! 🙂

  2. dionpugil Says:

    Nope, I don’t think you’re going crazy at all.

    I was never forced to go to church, and I think the implications have been good in the sense that I have basically no rejection of church based on my “memory” of church. (lol, the rejection of church is actually from certain churches I was a part of).

    I guess I don’t know what I’ll do. We don’t have any kids. I’m not sure what we’ll do. I’ll have to wait I guess.

  3. Melissa Says:

    well, just from the perspective of someone who’s husband worked for the church and I who just went to church – I can see where Darla is coming from. There is stress and politics (i could go on and on here) involved in growing a church. It’s like a business. So, that can cause a person to feel like it’s either going to church or being the church. And no combination of the two. But I, who didn’t have to get involved w/ all the behind the sceenes of church, was able to reap the benefits of church. The gathering together of believers to focus on the Father, the friendships, corprate prayer…there’s power in these things. And living life w/out it for the last few month has left an emptiness – not in my relationship w/ God, but in my connection w/ others. I hope for a day when I am the church and am in the church. You know?

  4. dionpugil Says:

    I totally understand you. I used to play guitar saturdays on youth group, and then drums on sundays. I ended up being afraid (literally afraid) of saturday nights. It was weird always being involved in having to DO something in church.

    My wife, on the other hand, was never involved in DOING stuff for the church. She always misses church more than I do.

    And yes, there’s sometimes that emptiness. I don’t get it very often, but it does show up from time to time.


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